Why Being YOUR Best is Better than Being THE Best

As the Athletics World Championships got underway today in Daegu, South Korea, I was reminded of why in life, and in sport,  it is more important to focus on being the best version of ‘You’ rather than focusing on trying to be better than everyone else.

That may sound strange coming from a competitor but there are several reasons why I believe this to be true:

1) First and foremost, the only thing that you have control over is yourself.  To focus on things outside of your control is a waste of time, and worse, could prove to be detrimental to your own efforts by producing a distraction from what you should be concentrating on – your own ability to prepare and perform at your peak.

Two of the world’s top athletes provide confirmation of this principle when talking about their preparations for the current championships recently.

Mo Farah Winning 10,000m Gold at the European Championships in 2010 - Photo credit: Mark Shearman

Mo Farah, a multiple Gold medalist at European level over distances ranging from 3,000m to 10,000m stated, “I am just concentrating on myself and making sure I get to the start line as healthy as I can be”.

Photo credit: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

Jessica Ennis, the reigning World and European heptathlon champion is quoted as saying, “All I can do is train hard and get into the best shape that I can…” during her preparations.

If such an approach is suitable for World and European champions, then it would seem to be a principle that all of us might benefit from adopting.

2) Every individual is dealt a unique set of talents, attributes and abilities and operates from a diverse base of individual personal circumstances.  Whilst we all have the choice to absolutely maximise the potential of the cards we have been dealt in any given area of life, that potential is likely to result in varying levels of objective success amongst any given group of people.

This was illustrated today when Ambwene Simukonda of Malawi ran 54.81 seconds to finish last in the opening heats of the women’s 400m.  Whilst some might focus on Ambwene’s finishing position, the records show that this was not only a Personal Best for her, but was a National Record for her country.  A brilliant individual performance for any athlete and a performance which I’m sure Ambewene will be delighted with.  She may not have been THE best but on the day, she was HER best, and no one can ask more of an athlete, or any person, than that.

Christine Ohuruogu is consoled by Ambwene Simukonda, August 27, 2011. Photo Credit: David Gray/REUTERS

Ironically, in contrast to her own performance, after her race, Ambewene found herself comforting Christine Ohuruogu,  who despite being World, Olympic and Commonwealth Champion, didn’t on this occasion get the opportunity to be her best after being disqualified for false starting in the race.

3) It is possible to be THE best without being YOUR best, and that is a situation which will result in nagging feelings of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment  for the person who finds that natural ability sees them at the top of the pile without any real challenge either from their own circumstances, or from external factors such as competitors.  Such a situation can lead to a lack of motivation to keep striving for the personal improvement that ultimately leads to an individual being the best they can be at any given time.

Carolina Kluft - Photo credit: BBC Sport

This may have been the case for the Triple World, Double European and Olympic heptathlon champion, Carolina Kluft who took the decision to quit the heptathlon whilst still apparently at the peak of her multi event prowess, and focus instead on the triple jump and long jump stating, “The triple jump is not my speciality but I think it’s good to try out new disciplines”.  Without speaking to Carolina it’s impossible to know what her original motivations in the heptathlon were, but maybe, with an original goal to become THE best in the world, her motivation was always at risk once this had been achieved.

In summary, being your best is a combination of believing in your individual potential and then focusing on your own performance to the exclusion of all factors outside of your control.  This removes the pressure to constantly compare your progress and performance with other people, freeing you to enjoy the benefits of being THE BEST YOU, which, like Tony Horton creator of P90X says, will always be enough.

Next Post: Tough Times Don’t Last but are they Essential for people that ‘Do’?

Reflecting on Amy Winehouse, Success & it’s Pursuit

When I started this blog I didn’t anticipate for one moment that I would be including a post on Amy Winehouse, but upon hearing of what some might refer to as her untimely death, I have found myself re-assessing the meaning of 2 of my favourite ‘success’ quotes:

Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal.  Earl Nightingale

&

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition…or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.  Jim Rohn

On reflection both of these quotes refer to progression, direction and pursuit…PURSUIT.

Chris Gardener observed the following in his book The Pursuit of Happyness:

…I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

Terry Orlick in his book In Pursuit of Excellence says:

There are seven critical elements of excellence that guide your pursuit of personal excellence: commitment, focused connection, confidence, positive images, mental readiness, distraction control and ongoing learning.

My own view on ‘the meaning of life’ and trying to make a success of it, is that the ‘Human Experience’ seems to have been set up as a challenge.  A Challenge to avoid what I have referred to previously as Spiritual Gravity – a seemingly natural pull towards ease and ultimately self destruction.  Seeking to overcome these challenges is what gives meaning, purpose and ultimately, satisfaction in life.

So maybe it is actually ‘in the pursuit’, in the actual process of trying to overcome the challenges, in the execution of the Blueprint for your Life and in the taking of a journey that you have consciously chosen for yourself, that the real purpose of life lies.  This would mean that Excellence, Happiness and ‘Arriving’ at your destination either through choice or through default are almost inconsequential compared to the process of getting there.

Of course, all of this only says what we have all heard a million times before, “Success is a journey not a destination” (Ben Sweetland)

Maybe for Amy, as with so many other talented and creative individuals, what others may have perceived as success was not something that formed part of what she would have chosen for her journey.  Maybe her objective success was just a place at which she arrived with no more pursuit or planning or conscious decision-making, than most of us employ when drifting into our first careers.  And so in the absence of ‘The Pursuit‘ towards a pre-determind goal she experienced the same, all too common dissatisfaction with life that is reality for so many other people.  Except perhaps because of the scale of her apparent success and the fact that she appeared to ‘have arrived’, her disillusionment may have been proportionately magnified.

Or, maybe unlike beauty which lies in the eye of the beholder, success, and what it means lies not in some abstract philosophy of someone looking from the outside in, but in the eye, the mind and the heart of the individual who looks out.

Maybe Amy did live her life exactly as she might have designed it, whatever anyone else might have thought, and maybe her life has ended just as she might have wished, gaining her entry to the infamous ’27 Club’ comprised of legendary musicians who have all died at the age of 27, including Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain.

Maybe “a worthy goal or ideal” is too restrictive a definition of success – who gets to say what is worthy or ideal?

Maybe “your life, my life, the life of each one of us” can serve as both an example AND a warning, and not simply as a model of one or the other.

Amy’s songwriting and musical talent was beyond question ‘successful’ in both a commercial and artistic sense.  Whether how she chose to live her life beyond her music can be considered successful or not, is a question that only Amy can answer.

Maybe now that she is at peace, she would say “Yes”.

Next Post: Why Being YOUR Best is Better than being THE Best

The 7 P’s of Disciplined Activity – Part 2

(This is part 2 of a 2 part post.  Click here to go to Part 1)

So, we are 7-Stepping our way to Disciplined Activity and have so far:

1. discovered a foundation based on Passion,
2. brought clarity by defining Purpose
3. created order through Planning; and
4. have devised a strategy for executing our plan with thorough Preparation.

In the final 3 steps, we finally begin to launch into action and see the fruits of our labour take shape…

5) Preview – This part of the process is the equivalent to a pilot carrying out the final checks in the cockpit before take off.

He knows that his purpose is to get the plane to a specific destination and he will have a flight plan to get him where he’s going.  Both he and the plane are prepared for the journey but no matter how experienced the pilot, he will still go through a series of pre-determined checks before he moves off the runway.

For the purpose of Disciplined Activity, Previewing involves routine checks to remind yourself of your Purpose and Plans and make sure your are still on track to achieve them.

The format for these checks can be as simple as a quick 2 minute daily preview of your Personal Mission Statement and the key tasks for the day. This ensures that your scheduled activities are on track to progress your plans and create forward steps in the direction of the goals that you have pre-determined for yourself.  Your Preview gives you the opportunity before you launch off into the day, to make sure that you are continuting to head along the right path.

6) Play – This is where the rubber meets the road!   You are off, going about your tasks and activities, embracing and responding to all that the day has to offer.

There is a lot to be gained from viewing the challenge of Life as a Game.  To some extent life is a game. There are some fundamental rules, there are players and the challenge is to win before it’s ‘Game Over’.

The difference is that we get to define what ‘winning’ is for us and by adopting an attitude of playfulness towards life, we can be sure of attracting more fun, enjoyment and even more passion into it and the discipline required to make it all happen will therefore come so much more naturally and with much greater ease.

By creating for yourself the choice to deal with your tasks, activities, situations, challenges and life in general with the same perspective that you would if it were a game, you take so much pressure off yourself and actually increase your chances of finishing the day feeling completely satisfied.  (A separate post on the Paradigm of Play can be found here).

Carrot Cake - Yum!

7) Present – When you have had the discipline to Play according to your Purpose-filled, Passionately Prepared and Previewed Plans, to make it all worthwhile it is important to build in a little reward each day to say well done to yourself for living on purpose.

Even if you have just achieved the majority of the things that you set out to do, you deserve a Present – just a little something that you would consider a treat.

The incremental, cummulative benefit of these little treats on your overall sense of well being is what makes disciplined activity both desirable and achievable.   It is your reward for living on purpose and it is what will keep you happily on your own disciplined track, coming back for more of the same, each and every day.

For a summary reminder of how each step of the 7 P’s can help you achieve daily disciplined activity to stay on your self chosen path towards the life experience of your choosing, click 7 P’s download

Author’s note: Obviously you cannot treat yourself to Carrot Cake every day!  Sometimes, an early night, and just saying “I am done for the day” is treat enough!

Next Post: Reality in the Movies

The Paradigm of Play – How to bring a different Perspective to your Daily Activities

In my book pitch for Your Life Rules, I spoke about introducing strategies for bringing ease into the process of discipline.

One of the core strategies for this process is The Paradigm of Play which is a term I use to describe how to view life, particularly in the face of it’s many challenges.

A paradigm is simply a frame of reference which dictates how you see any given situation.  A simplified example of the effect of a paradigm lies in the answer to the classic question – ‘Is this glass half full or half empty?’

You will answer this question dependent on your own personal frame of reference which would include whether or not you had first seen the glass full or empty, whether or not you are thirsty, and what type of attitude you have to life in general – are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Our paradigms in any given situation can be, and usually are, largely affected by the unconscious effect of things like our upbringing, culture, personal life experiences, and the beliefs that we have come to accept as being true…like the earth being flat…or round as the current paradigm would suggest.

But we can, if we so choose, consciously select how to view and respond to a situation, regardless of these influences – we can choose our Paradigm.

So what is the Paradigm of Play?  I think it is best illustrated by a series of books that I was VERY into between the ages of 9-11ish – the Choose Your Own Adventure series in which you as the reader got to determine the outcome of the story by making choices as they were presented to you throughout the book.  Each choice would result in you being sent to a different page further along in the book and your decisions would ultimately determine the outcome of the story.  It was so fun!

In real life sometimes the fun gets sucked out of our experience because of the pressures of stress, personal expectation, and the expectation of others.  However this is almost always because of our own perception of the situations, how we think, consciously or subconsciously, we should feel.

The Paradigm of Play says: View Life as a game.  Take the pressure off yourself and allow yourself to view your situation objectively.  If the situation were to crop up in a computer game, and you had the same resources available to you as you do in reality, what choice would you make?

Yes it’s real life, and yes sometimes the situations are serious, painful and occasionally pivotal, but choosing the Paradigm of Play can bring a whole new dimension to your work, daily tasks and activities.  Playfulness suggests fun, enjoyment and happiness and wouldn’t we all want a bit more of those as part of our life experience?

When built upon a foundation of Passion, Purpose and Priorities the Paradigm of Play forms a central part of the Your Life Rules 7 P’s for disciplined activity (along with Planning, Preparation and Presents) which we will be covering in subsequent posts.

Until then, happy playing!

Next Post: The 7 P’s of Disciplined Activity – Part 1

Re-programming Your Mind – A Bum deal in Reality

As anyone who has ever broken or seriously injured a limb will tell you, one of the longstanding issues which remains after the major rehab is over, is re balancing the dominance that the non-injured limb has developed as a result of weeks or months of over compensating during the period of injury.

Mostly this over dominance is OK and even unnoticeable in every day life but if you are going to push your body to limits with physical training and competitive performance, working on re balancing everything is essential as failure to do so will result at best, in below par performances and at worst, in injury, as the already overloaded muscles and tendons are pushed beyond what they can physically bear.

Interestingly, this process of re-balancing is not just a matter of balancing out the strength and functionability ratios of the affected areas.

It must also involve re-progamming the MIND.

I am currently working with some very clever physiologists who are helping me to do just that by carrying out a series of exercises designed to teach my brain how we expect it to use my bum, hips and legs.  Through painstaking repetition of tiny and specific movements we are teaching my brain what messages to deliver to the muscles and tendons so that they work in a more balanced and efficient way when called on for running.  The desired result is improved performances on the track and reduced risk of injury when training.

What is fascinating though is the changes that are noticeable relatively quickly as the ‘brain training’ begins to take effect and the physical response in the muscles becomes evident doing everyday tasks such as walking, driving and sitting – it’s as if some dormant muscles in my bum have awakened to their new possibilities, and are now ready to contribute to delivering what was always their purpose – assisting with leg extension and stabilising the pelvis.

What is important in all of this though, is that the Mind CAN be reprogrammed with tangible results that create for you a new reality of your choosing.  My new reality here: a new active bum!

But if you think of the wider possibilities, what this means is that you can choose any outcome that you desire and then go about re programming your mind to deliver those results, remembering always that it is the journey towards your desired results that is most important.

It is the process of DECIDING  what you want to achieve (re balanced bum) and then finding out what ACTIONS  you need to take (consulting with experts) and then taking those actions, which puts you on the path towards re-programming your mind for a new reality.

What new possibilities can you awaken within yourself?  What new programs can you ‘upload’ to your mind.  The information to do whatever you want is more than likely already out there.  All you need to do is seek it out, Educate Your Attitude, and Take a Journey.

With a healthy dose of diligence and discipline, your mind will have been re-programmed before you know it, and your reality changed forever, even if that just means you have a new bum!

Until next time,

Karen x

p.s. Voting has now closed but you can still hear the audio for my book pitch – Your Life Rules! (Developing the Discipline of an Athlete to Create the Life of Your Choosing) in the Next Top Self-Help Author Competition

Next Post: The Paradigm of Play – How to bring a different Perspective to your Daily Activities

Rule 6 – Create Some Balance

6. Create Some Balance
Just as a car won’t work so well if one of the tyres is flat, humans will also malfunction when trying to operate without looking after each of the 3 components that make us human: Body, Mind and Spirit.
Creating balance in these areas simply involves specifically spending time making sure each area is being catered for so that you can operate as optimally as possible leading to a pleasing sense of ongoing satisfaction with your life as a whole.
Body – our physical self is nothing more than a set of systems which all work amazingly well if treated right. In summary this would involve:
•    getting at least 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week

•    eating a nutritionally balanced diet
•    drinking 8 glasses of water a day getting enough rest skipping the junk (or at least keeping it to a minimum)
Mind – in a way this is part of our body as it deals with our brain but it is so important that it has come to deserve separate recognition. This may be because this is where everything originates – the choices we make regarding the other two components originate in our brain as a thought.
That’s why it’s so important to control as far as possible what goes into your mind. The same principles regarding a healthy body can be applied to your mind:

• Exercise – your mind is stimulated and exercised by the ongoing education we have already talked about in Rule 4.  30 minutes 3 times a week isn’t a bad place to start a new Attitude Education programme!
•    Balanced diet – your mind needs variety also – we all know how boring someone with a 1-track mind is!  Make sure you are feeding your mind a good balance of useful information.
•    Rest – this means taking time to switch off and think about nothing – that doesn’t mean watching TV!  Try staring out a window, closing your eyes for 10 minutes or killing 2 birds with one stone by going for a brisk walk (physical exercise & rest for your mind)
•    Skip the junk – mind junk comes in the form of trash TV (the clue is in the name!) tabloid “news” papers, and excessive internet surfing to main a few sources of mind junk.
Spirit – this is perhaps the hardest component to identify and therefore balance due to it’s intangible nature, but balance it you must if you are going to avoid it throwing your otherwise well balanced plans out of whack.
Your spirituality doesn’t necessarily refer to anything religious, although religion does provide spiritual balance for those who believe in it.
Instead your spirituality (and we all have it whether we choose to acknowledge it or not) refers to why and how you choose to think what you do, your personal philosophy if you like, and is closely aligned to the Attitude you develop by following Rule 4.
Like everything else we have talked about, you will experience a much greater satisfaction with the spirituality area of your life, and therefore with your life as a whole if you consciously identify, acknowledge and embrace the nature of your spirit and feed it so that it can grow and develop along with the rest of you.

Your spirit will be very personal to you as it is in effect, the essence of who you are. It will be influenced by all your experiences to date and it will be the driver behind all your emotions.
Those who choose to ignore this area, either by denying that it exists or by mistakenly thinking that it doesn’t matter, are those who are experiencing some of the greatest discontentment and frustration with their lives. This will often manifest in physically self destructive behaviours such as drug abuse, eating disorders or abusive relationships to name but a few. These are examples of the result of living a life without balance.
You should note that balancing these 3 components doesn’t necessarily mean spending equal time on each. It does mean recognising that you need to be spending time on each and then identifying how much time that each needs to operate at it’s best.
Once you have made these conscious choices for optimal performance of your Mind, Body and Spirit, and are acting on them on a regular basis, you will have created some balance in your life.

Happy Balancing Folks! : )

Rule 7 – You Must Have a Blueprint for Your Life